The end of any relationship is painful, but divorce is particularly difficult, especially for frum divorce families. Along with the emotional pain of divorce, there’s the nightmare of dividing up the assets and the child custody discussions when kids are involved. No person should have to go through divorce alone. Benny Rogosnitzky of Frum Divorce shares four ways you can help a friend cope with divorce.
Respect their privacy
Don’t pry your friend for information about their breakup. Divorce is a private matter, and if they want to tell you about what they’re going through, they will. Otherwise, don’t press them. Respect their privacy and make yourself available to listen when they want to talk.
Don’t be judgmental
In the Jewish community where marriage is so sacred, it can be easy to judge someone for their divorce. However, everyone has their reasons for getting divorced, and you shouldn’t hold that against them. Your friend may also feel embarrassed and ashamed. According to Benny Rogosnitzky, you should focus on being supportive and understanding and helping them build a brighter future for themselves and their family.
Offer your help
When you tell your friend, “let me know how I can help,” you put them in the position of needing to reach out to you for assistance. Many people don’t want to be a burden and won’t ask for help though they need it. Rather than asking a friend what you can do, suggest ways you can assist them. Offer to take them out to lunch, drive the kids to school, or do the grocery shopping. This will help lessen the burden on your friend.
Invite them to do things
To keep your friend from dwelling on their sorrow or loss of security, keep them socially engaged. Invite your friend to participate in social activities with you. While they won’t say yes to everything you invite them do, don’t stop inviting them. They’ll participate when they’re ready and appreciate being included.